Parodies Galore
by PompusRompus
Summary: This is a collection of parodies of fanfics I've both read and written, mary sue type stories, pairings, and a few other cliques found in fanfiction. Contains character bashing.
1. Abusive Sakura

_This is a collection of parodies of fanfics I've both read and written, mary sue type stories, and a few other cliques found in fanfiction as well as a bit of commentary. This is a parody of my fanfic **"Motherly Love"**_ **. Contains a little Sakura bashing.**

* * *

Sakura couldn't wait get come home and have her lover fuck the shit outta her. Literally. If she didn't get it anytime soon, she was gonna remained constipated for a week. Sex seemed like the only way to else the brown sludge come out whenever she couldn't shit. She didn't know why it worked, but it did. Maybe her father was right and Mebuki did have a magic touch! Or rather the magic fingers. When she got home, she kicked off her shoes knocking over a lamp and the other went through a wall.

"Oosps! Guess I don't know my own strength!"

 ** _(Yes you do, dumbass. You obviously meant to do that.)_**

"Sakura, is that you?" Mebuki called out to her daughter.

 _ **(Nah, it's Harambe. Who the fuck else can make a hole in the wall with a shoe?)**_

 _ **(Wait. Just about everybody who's a major fan favorite and then some.)**_

"It's me. Is dad here cuz I wanna fuck!" Sakura said as she made her way down the hallway. Honestly this was a moronic thing to say, but Sakura was too horny to give much of a fuck.

"No, he's gone remember? He goes out of town every year around this time with his friends. Did you fall on your head during your mission before you got here?"

"Maybe. It's only because that shit head flashed his dick at me." scowled Sakura. "Doesn't he realize I don't like men? Should have been obvious."

"I think Sasuke may have something to do with it." Mebuki said rolling her eyes as her daughter stepped into the kitchen.

"Ooooh please. I'm WAY over that emo faggot." The medic said as she sat down the edge of the counter while her mother continued washing the dishes. "Now take those clothes off and get the 'toys'! I'm aching for a piece of plastic!"

"Anything for you baby but..."

"But what?"

"Can I..."

"What?" Sakura looked at her with bedroom eyes while Mebuki had a bashful look on her face.

"Uh...um..."

"You can tell me anything, Mebuki." purred Sakura as she placed a hand underneath her chin and lifted it up to get her to look into her face.

"Could I...take off this costume?" Mebuki looked nervous and her facial expression then turned into fear as she immediately regretted asking this when she saw the furious on her only child's face.

She knew she should have never given into her obsessive daughter's desires to dress up like her crush. At first she had done it so Sakura wouldn't do something crazy, go after him, and get her ass killed, then it was about her finally getting some after Kizashi was off buttering up that Hyuuga girl, and now it was out of fear that Sakura was going to fuck her up if she tried getting out of it. She should have known her daughter hadn't meant that part about Sasuke given how her younger self never shut up about the little brat. Just as she feared, Sakura jumped down and jacked up her by her Sasuke shirt that she had made an exact replica of that Mebuki could wear.

"TAKE THOSE CLOTHES OFF AND I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU!" she yelled.

"But you said...!"

"Did I say you could take off those clothes?"

"N-no, but...!"

"THEN. DON'T." she threw her into the fridge. "Now get your ass up and get in that bedroom Sa-I mean Mebuki!"

"Y-yes master!" whimpered Mebuki in complete fear of her daughter. Why couldn't be like the old days where Sakura used to respect her and be such a good girl?

MEANWHILE

Sasuke shivered as he was eating in a restaurant with Suigetsu. The white haired man raised a brow at the Uchiha. "Uh are you okay, Sasuke?"

"Yeah though I feel disgraced somehow." He said rubbing his forehead. "And like someone's being forced impersonating me so someone can pretend to have their way with me. Strange. I'm sure it's nothing...I hope."

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Next up Mary Sue parody.


	2. Kakashi x Iruka

Guest: Read what I left you in "Forbidden Fruit" in the review section in response to your comment. Consider your reviews a distant memory. We both know you won't make an account so your comment will permanently be here. You're afraid to do it because you know the second you do, I can report you for your crap.

Guest: I didn't think of that, but you could have looked at the story's summary for the pairing BUT I see your point. I'll start doing so.

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I don't hate it or like it. It's a more neutral feeling than anything. I just don't get it's one of the most popular yaoi pairings in this series. Then again you could say the same about one of my favorite pairing Gaara x Lee (especially Gaara x Lee. Seriously why does this pairing have such a large following? Confusing for me saying this I know.). Anyways, Kakashi x Iruka everybody. BTW if you like this pairing, please explain why you like it. I'm curious.

Based off a chapter Mass Effect fanfic featuring Shepard x Steve Cortez. Not a popular yaoi pairing with Shepard to my surprise. It's Kaidan that's popular. Considering how much everyone complains about him, this is surprising. Not even genderbent Tali or Garrus? Yeah Garrus with male Shep isn't popular but he is with female Shepard. He's only popular with Kaidan. The only other person would be Joker and even that's by less.

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Ever since that fiery night of sex they had, Iruka wanted more of that Kakashi ass he had been craving since he had met the man. He had always been in awe of the man since the literal second the man entered his sight. He didn't even have to turn that sexy ass around for Iruka to fall in love. He had been surprised when after two weeks after he sta-no met the man and then they had a forced kiss...no first kiss, they two finally got it on after the following week. The relationship was great but...well he didn't want to seem like he was complaining even to himself, but fuck it. They did have sex not one single time after that one time.

Was it because he was bad at sex? It couldn't be. Kakashi would have told him he was bad. Then it hit him. It was all these missions piled on him plus there was the fact that Iruka was continuously worrying about the welfare of his boyfriend and stressed out whenever he went to out on a mission. For some reason all this stressing tired him out. Maybe he shouldn't be wasting his time walking back and forth through the village until his man came back or until he needed to shit or sleep.

"Hey you man stealing dolphin fuck!" shouted Gai at Iruka who was eating ramen as he took a seat next to the man. "One bowl of ramen, Teuchi."

"Ooookaaaay." said Teuchi slowly.

"Hey you jealous bowl headed chimp faced ugly bastard!" greeted Iruka. This greeting had become very natural after Kakashi finally returned his affections. He couldn't help Kakashi dumped Gai's ugly ass for him. He was much better looking, much younger, didn't smell like sweaty ass cheeks, and he didn't live outside in a tent like a cheap bastard.*

"Them's fighting words, chuunin !" shouted Gai.

"If you two are going to fight..." began Ayame.

"Go back in the kitchen and fix my food, BITCH!" yelled Gai too pissed to be respectful and stay in character.

"What did you just say to my daughter?!" Teuchi felt his blood boiling. How dare Gai be disrespectful to his kid. Sure Gai could beat his ass from now until next year, but he didn't care. Nobody was going to act like a fool in his house uh shop.

Gai got Iruka's food and tossed it into his face. He screamed and ran away with his daughter after him to make sure he didn't hurt himself in the back. He turned back to Iruka. "Now! Why the hell did you think it was appropriate to make out with my man!?"

"First off, last time I checked you're supposed to knock before you enter someone's room!"

"WE SHARED A HOTEL ROOM WITH BEDS IN THE SAME ROOM! I DON'T NEED TO KNOCK!"

"And there was the fact that he broke up with you," finished the teacher ignoring Gai. "Get over it."

"I'LL KILL YOU!" He straggled Iruka who tried prying off his hands. Given that Gai was a jounin and he a chunin, he had no chance against Gai. Thankfully the homie came through and showed up. He tried communicating to Naruto to help him out, but the blonde idiot was still banging on the bell.

"EY! I'M HUNGRY! FEED ME!" shouted Naruto. Where were those two? Usually at least one of them was at the front. It was odd not seeing them or hearing them call out that they were coming or at least busy.

"YOU LITTLE IDIOT!" shouted Iruka at the kid. "STOPPED RINGING THAT BELL BEFORE I RING YOUR NECK!"

"What?" Naruto asked stupidity as he continued using the bell. "Oh hey, senseis! How's your sex life?"

"Fine until this faggot came along," said Gai in a calm voice while scowling at Iruka.

"Oh. Damn, those two are taking too long." sighed Naruto. "I guess I'll settle for BBQ. See ya!"

Naruto jumped off the chair and whistled as he walked off with Iruka reaching out for him. How was he still standing or rather sitting? Anyways, Naruto soon came across Kakashi. "Yo, Kaka."

"Don't call me that, fuckface." he said narrowing his eye at his young student.

"You call me fuckface again and I'm telling Sakura you threatened to sell Sasuke off to Orochimaru for porn money."

"For the last time, those books aren't porn! They're classic literature!"

"Whatever. Oh! I saw Gai and Master Dolphin." said Naruto pointing back at the stand which wasn't even that far away.

"Oh shit. I'm missing a sword fight!" Kakashi said a little too gleefully for hearing that his jealous ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend who strongly disliked his ex right back were in the same place. Naruto's ear perked up at the sound of sword fighting, but unfortunately he didn't know what that really meant. Plus there was the fact that he just left and the two weren't carrying swords. Both rushed back to find that Iruka was still conscious and Gai still straggling him. Kakashi was disappointed that Iruka was putting up a shitty fight, but this was Gai he was fucking with. He pried the two apart and gave Gai the business.

"Stop acting like such a ho!" said Kakashi as Iruka rubbed his throat and Naruto ate on the ramen behind the counter that was supposed to be someone's dinner, but it was going cold so fuck it. He wasn't letting his favorite food get cold. "I DON'T WANT YOUR BOWL HEADED ASS!"

"You liked it when we fucked!"

"GET YOUR WEAK ASS OUTTA HERE!" shouted Kakashi. Gai burst out crying like a little ho and ran off.

"I'll talk to him later." said Kakashi shaking his head. "You okay?"

"Yeah, NO THANKS TO NARUTARD!"

"You leave my fanbase alone!" said the blonde ninja before eating more noodles.

"What fanbase? You suck!" said Iruka and Kakashi in unison.

"Oh _**me**_!" Naruto said grinning. "Wait what did I do?"

"Nevermind. Hey Kashi?" Iruka blushed.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna uh...fuck?"

"Nah. I'm tired from yelling at Gai!" yawned Kakashi. "See ya at home."

Iruka roared by literally saying the word "roar" and tackled Kakashi. With his newfound strength,he over took him and took off his clothes. Before he could take his underwear, he was arrested for attempted rape and nobody busted him out because Kakashi found a new piece of ass called Shizune, Gai didn't fuck with him, and Naruto didn't have a phone.

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I attempted to find someone besides Iruka who was paired up with Kakashi the most. After finding nothing helpful, Gai's the only one I could think of besides MAYBE Sasuke or, if you want to talk about straight pairings too, Sakura (which seemed to boost in popularity once he turned Hokage strangely) is a popular one. Not entirely sure about Sasuke.

 ** _*In one of the Ninja Council games for ds, it shows a tent outside that belongs to Gai. Why is he in a tent? I don't know. It was funny at first and then it felt sad when I pondered if he lived there since I don't think we ever see his house. As a matter of fact, if they don't belong to a famous clan, their houses aren't shown such as Tenten and Lee with the exception of Sai and I think Yamato._**


End file.
